CHOLLA AT ME

New Mexico

~ Written Word of the Soul ~

Soul-Scribed Essay

Mac and Steve

Writing about Mac Miller feels all-too similar to the sudden loss of my father, Steve just coming around 3 years now. We tragically lost him way too soon, only 1 month after an EPIC family trip to Croatia, where he was perfectly healthy. So much so, I couldn’t even tackle the guy into the Adriatic Sea! Because of this quick turn, his passing didn’t feel real, and to be honest, still doesn’t.

A great deal of inspiration to build this newsletter community for you all and the world, sources from his sudden loss. It’s truly a BIG why I’m sharing my energy here, because there are no guarantees in life! (This would be the time to find your wife and/or loved ones, and tell them you love them).

On the other side, Mac Miller, if you don’t know him, was an extremely rare one-of-a-kind rapper, producer, singer, musician - you know, a true artist. I wrote another poem about him, but the one shared above does him justice - as he inspired millions of kids like me to be great.

Both of these great men parallel in the fact they were lost way before they were due. Thus, tons of energy was left at the door. That’s why I’m sharing this with you today…

Now, I don’t want to throw a pity party here and talk about how unfair death is, and try to dig for some rational reasoning that they departed this physical realm so early. That will go nowhere. Instead, let’s focus our view on the grander picture, and blaze a trail to move onward and upward.

“Energy is neither created nor destroyed, it can be only changed from one form to another,” says Albert Einstein over a century ago. What a wise man he was, even though he is renown for his discoveries in the field of science. For me, this powerful physics law keeps rumbling around, re-surfacing quite often. It’s become apparent (in my opinion) that this is objectively true - and the way things have unfolded since both have passed (especially Steve) affirms its validity.

The matter is, Mac and Steve (and other beings of light and goodness), are here in spiritual form. Alas, they no longer inhabit a physical form holding space & matter, living and breathing; but, they are rather ethereal guides and light-beings that lift us up when we are down, and bring inspiration in abstract ways. It’s quite hard to explain (and I may sound crazy); however, there are many examples from my life experiences that are real and impactful - making their spiritual forms real, in all ways, to me.

This impact is visible with avid Mac Miller fans every year cherishing and surfacing his art, again and again, especially around the time of his death (September 7th). They play his authentic tiny desk concert, shows, cool photos, epic freestyles which certainly do not fall on deaf ears. Back when he passed, there was a wave of loving art shared representing the heart-wrenching loss we all felt as a human collective. This continues on today! Even 8 years later - almost a decade - the love is still here for this lovely angel we lost too soon.

For my father Steve, that “ethereal guide” energy animates again and again, directly.

For example, at my brother Grant’s wedding where I reached out to Steve, recognizing his true absence there, the wind blew hard replying “I am here” (again, in spirit). Many times there has been a lone raven flying high, landing close, or cawing loudly around me in times of uncertainty, struggle, duress, or even the feeling of giving up. To me, this is Steve. And, this has happened more and more frequently since his soul departed his body.

It goes further, deeper still. My fiancée, Molly and I have talked many times how he is “with us” (not just me) - as we have been guided by multiple “lucky” encounters in the world, meeting people “we were meant to meet” in unique ways. “Steve’s Spirit is with us” - we say, and when we say it, it feels real.

It’s as if (like Mac) - his music lives on, through his son. I can hear his tune, a recognizable frequency that transcends the physical realm. I don’t know if it’s God, Steve has merged with God, both - or what! But I do hear his voice - guiding, uplifting and calling for more from me. It’s like my own tiny desk concert - but it’s my dad!

Lately, I’ve heard “sacrifice EVEN MORE than you think you can, my son…” and let me tell you - I do not take this sentiment lightly. I try not to “make it about me” - in every sense, even spiritually. But I can’t deny Steve’s whispers in my ear, there when it’s quiet or loud - through the frequency that stands out and stands alone.

It must be stated that Steve was NOT perfect, equipped with repeated flaws that grew into thorns in my side while growing up. Sometimes, he threw MAD tantrums (I’m talking about annihilating blenders, keyboards, food, you name it). Sort of funny when you visualize a grown man destroying a blender, but to a young kid with this big dude turning into a gorilla - well, it wasn’t too fun then (fucking scary). He also didn’t listen the best (VERY ADHD), loud yelling came with the tantrums, and also he was one to force the action on things when everything was telling him to push the brakes.

Transcendence: Now, through my fiancée, Molly - my family can heal. These flaws that I did want to change - are seen through the vessel of Molly. For she holds space and represents the opposite (light-bringer) from these negative outbursts. She inspires patience, paired with more caution and intentional thought prior to action.

What’s so incredibly beautiful: for the last months (before he passed) she got to really know Steve. Just less than a month after meeting Molly 30,000 feet in the sky spilling my coffee - we collectively chose to go to Red River, New Mexico to hang with dad and Mimi. I choice seemingly easy (as Red River is amazing in July) - but we both lived in Denver-city proper and could’ve easily chosen to party there. We didn’t. Who knew he’d pass months later after that.

I wonder, how Steve’s Spirit, his whispers might be with our children and future generations. He’s here now, and I don’t think he’s going anywhere.

Hit reply if you’ve ever experienced something of the sort…

Now, go tell your mother and your loved ones you DIG (love) them - f’real! Don’t leave ANYTHING on the table - don’t play with your food.

Get into it - whatever it is - and don’t look back.

May God be with you, and spirit is forever.

CHOLLA AT ME

FROM THE MOUNTAINS

THE REPORT:

SIGHTINGS:

Beautiful hummingbird running close to the end of its season - the bountiful summer days. Spotted out in the true high desert - Pecos, New Mexico.

Quick question: Are you hungry for more content?

Looking to post twice a week for more poems/essays, while also making a more events-focused edition to get you out there.

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Go with grace, fellow humans.

A genuine THANK YOU for being here.